Thursday, February 4, 2010

Lauren Burns 'donor' conceived perspective

Posted with Lauren's permission


By Lauren Burns

My name is Lauren and I am 26 years old. As a ‘grown up’ donor conceived person I feel it is my responsibility to give some perspective about the long term effects of donor conception. We, the children created from assisted reproductive treatment, are the real experts, but we are not often given a forum to express our views. I hope I will give would-be parents and potential donors some important information that they will take time to think over, and my story will be of interest to other donor conceived people, who may want to meet or network with people from a similar background.

The concept of egg and sperm donation, donors procreating with the intention of not assuming any responsibility or feelings towards the person they have helped create, is a curiously artificial construct conjured by the infertility treatment industry. It is the complete opposite of how parents normally feel towards their biological children. In the early days it was useful in helping clinics recruit donors, and for parents who wished to believe donor conception was truly a ‘cure’ to their own infertility, but what happens when the child refuses to accept that their biological parent is not merely a ‘nice man/woman’ who is inconsequential to their lives?

It is crucial to realise that the decision to use a donor to create a family results in life-long consequences for the child who is subsequently born. Every person I know who is donor conceived (about 15) has been affected by it. It is untrue to claim there are no real issues with donor conception, that as long as you tell the child the truth, and tell early, everything will be fine.

The modern advice is telling children early is the best option, and I agree, however it is important to note that children will not have a static response to being donor conceived, it will change throughout their lives. Young children tend to be very accepting of what their parents tell them, and hence often appear unperturbed by their story. It is not until these children gain the power of critical analysis, perhaps in early adulthood, that they may start question what occurred.

I personally know a 30-year-old donor conceived man who has known his status since early childhood. Initially he accepted it, until the birth of his own child when suddenly, as a father, he realised the importance of the biological link, and what the loss of his paternal kin had meant for him (and his daughter). He does not condemn his parents for their decision, but is now completely opposed to the practise of donor conception, and feels it has negatively affected his life.

The psychology of donor conception is complex because it asks the child to differentiate between the ‘social’ and the ‘biological’ aspects of parenthood. Historically there was never this schism, leaving our language unprepared for it. Thus, even the word ‘parent’ is loaded and ambiguous, so we are left with clunky terms such as ‘biological parent’ and ‘social parent.’

It is vital to think about the importance of the genetic link. Is it relevant or is it completely disposable? How important is it in informing our sense of self (looks, personality, interests) and sense of identity (feeling of belonging, similarities reflected in relatives, being part of a chain)? Parents should not think that if their child expresses longing for knowledge of a biological parent it reflects badly on their parental skills. In my experience my desire to know my genetic identity was actually independent of my relationship with my social parents, because no matter how good a parent they were, it was beyond their control to give me this knowledge.

Donor conceived children are generally smart and sensitive. They want to protect their parents. This often complicates the way they allow themselves to express their feelings about being donor conceived. They are generally especially sensitive about not upsetting the non-biological parent.

There is a lot of literature concerning the feelings of loss and grief felt by adoptees, associated with the denial of a close relationship with their biological parents. This is relevant, because from the perspective of the child, being donor conceived is like being ‘half-adopted.’

Infertility can mean mourning the loss of somebody who has never existed. However, choosing donor conception to overcome infertility can mean transferring the loss so that it is now the child who grieves, in this case for someone they have also never met, the missing biological parent.

When seeking information and/or counselling about becoming a donor or using assisted reproductive treatment, it is important to consider any biases of the source of information. Infertility treatment is an industry and private clinics are ultimately businesses. Although it is in their interest to adhere to medical guidelines, they also have a financial incentive to minimise or even trivialise adverse effects, in order to recruit egg and sperm donors, as well as attract consumers. As far as I am aware, in Victoria, no infertility treatment clinic has shown interest in tracking the long term welfare of the children created from their services, or (with the exception of the Royal Women’s) provided pastoral services to assist offspring dealing with the effects of being donor conceived.

In Victoria anonymous donation is now recognised as harmful to children and has been banned since 1998. However, donor conceived children will still grow up not knowing the identity of their donor during their formative years, and any relationship they pursue after the age of 18 will be retarded by this missing time.

Parents should question how they feel about making the decision, on behalf of their child, that they will be denied a close familiar relationship with one or both biological parents. Adoption was normally deemed the best solution to some crisis that meant the biological parents were unable to care for their child. I feel in this case the deliberateness of the decision to separate kin is significant.

I found out my biological father was a vial of frozen sperm labelled ‘C11’ when I was 21. It came as a complete shock. For me, the overwhelming impression of being donor conceived was powerlessness and lack of choice. I thought it was very unfair that the medical establishment had concocted the concept of ‘anonymous donor’ and this deal had been stitched up without my consent. I felt like the system had exploited my vulnerability by assigning my rights the lowest priority. Whenever I expressed the need that was driving me to search for my donor, I was reminded that I must abide by these decisions, made long ago, that I was never involved in.

I brooded over the news for about three years, not talking much, but thinking about it a lot. I found out that in Victoria, people born after 1988 have the right to apply for information about their donor, but because I was born in 1983 I do not qualify. I thought this terribly unfair because my need to know my genetic identity was just as real as somebody born after this arbitrary date. Despite this, I did find my donor, but I had to move heaven and earth to do it.

I reached a turning point when I met Narelle (a donor conceived woman) and eventually met up with members of an organisation called TangledWebs (www.tangledwebs.org.au). (The name comes from a poem by Sir Walter Scott, “O what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”) It was a huge relief to talk to people with a similar background to myself, who shared my view that donor conceived people have a basic right to information about their genetic identity.

I went public and had two newspaper articles published in The Age. It was stressful to ‘blow my cover’ and tell my story where I knew it would be read by an unknown number of friends, relatives and acquaintances. However the long-term effects have been very positive because I have freed myself from secrecy and received a lot of encouragement. The experience also taught me the power of personal stories in helping shape public opinion.

I met with key politicians regarding the Assisted Reproductive Treatment (2008) Bill. Sue Pennicuik (Greens) tabled an amendment to allow all donor conceived people to apply for information about their genetic identity, regardless of when they were born. This amendment was only defeated by five votes. (Hansard Legislative Council 4 Dec 2008 pg 50). Unfortunately, at the time we only knew a few donor conceived people who were willing to meet with politicians. Most politicians who voted on this amendment had never actually met and listened to the personal story of somebody who is affected by it.

I changed strategy. My mother remembered the name of her former treating doctor so I sent him a letter outlining my story. To my delight I wasn’t ignored. He suggested we meet, and gave me a background of his work in male infertility and donor conception programs spanning 25 years. I was flabbergasted to discover I was the first donor conceived person he had ever met! This highlights the huge disconnection between the medical focus on treating infertility as a ‘disease’ that can be ‘cured’ by prescribing donated eggs/sperm/embryos like medicine, unaware or unconcerned about the lifelong impact this may have on us, the human beings created from these treatments.

I asked if he would be willing to write to my donor on my behalf. He said he would have to think about it and consult with a colleague. A few months passed. I was in a tightly wound state. I felt a familiar feeling of powerlessness as the outcome now rested on the personal ethics of one person. One Thursday in early August 2009 I heard back. He had sent the letter. After this, things moved really quickly. The very next week I received a call from Kate from VARTA with big news. Firstly, I didn’t need to ever refer to my biological father as my donor. His name is Ben.

After exchanging letters and talking on the phone we arranged to meet. The day before, I discovered I would be meeting his children, my half-siblings. I was nervous, especially the night before and day of the meeting. As I approached the gate, Ben’s son called out “Lauren’s here!” in an excited voice and ran to greet me. Immediately I felt more at ease. I said hello to everyone and we sat down to lunch. I had a surreal moment as I looked around and realized I was surrounded by people who looked like me. I realized the clinics were wrong. We are family, at least in some sense of the word.

Finally I understand why people comment that my sister looks Swedish and why I am interested in flying and space. Ben and I share an interest in reading and literature, art, sports, napping, nature and the outdoors. After all my efforts in the media, law, and political lobbying, I was also gratified to discover that my paternal grandfather was a somewhat notorious agitator of the establishment.

I still have three missing half siblings, two boys born in Dec ’81 and July ’84 and a girl born in Aug ’81, all to separate families. I joined the pre-1988 voluntary register, but there were no matches. Have their parents even told them they are donor conceived? If they or their parents are reading this article, I want them to know that they can find me in the voluntary register. I am waiting for them.

31 Responses to "Lauren Burns 'donor' conceived perspective"

Pamela (visit their site)

Thank you, Lauren, for this honest, articulate expression of your experience. Diagnosed with unexplained infertility more than a decade ago it took huge effort -- and much sadness and grieving -- before my husband and I could accept that conceiving/delivering a child was not in the cards for us. Of course, the fertility industry was eager to sell us donor services, which we declined for many of the reasons you outlined here. Infertility and the related losses was *our* issue to face -- not something we wanted to pass on in a new and different way to a child. It led me to write a book that chronicles the process of coming to terms with an experience that changed our lives profoundly. Wishing you all the best...

Dreams and False Alarms (visit their site)

Lauren, This is a wonderful post, and sums up my feelings exactly. I think that anonymous donation is wrong, and should be outlawed in the US. When we were picking our donor, it was non negotiable that she be willing to be contacted. In my mind, I think of her as 'the birth mother', and I feel that is the true position she holds. Of course it's different from classical adoption, but it has far more in common with it than not.

Freckles (visit their site)

Lauren,

Thank you for sharing your experience. I am considering having a child who will be conceived through open donor insemination. I have been searching, with no avail until now, to read perspectives of children born through IUI. I have a lot to think about but it helps to be able to read stories such as yours.

Lesley

Anonymous (visit their site)

HI How beaut -Yes the gift of life. Hope Premier acts soon as we are all getting old. All want to know their roots and truth is fair.Also chances of genetic problems could be overcome by joint testing. Good blees you all and good grace. RCJMP JJMary pray

Anonymous (visit their site)

As an adopted person, I applaud your intelligent and honest outlay of the facts. And am so grateful to read the comments from infertile women who are open to hearing your message. How wonderful if a child is handled fairly, sensitively, humanely, because their parents read this wonderful account of your personal experience. You have done a good deed by getting this out on the internet. Thank you.

DonorChildren (visit their site)

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Penny (visit their site)

Thanks for expressing your feelings in this articulated way. I have the same issues with a donor, and my husband and I discussed the option a lot, read a lot and ruled it out.
It is difficult to express our opinion in public, though, because there are always opposite sides: those who thinks that using donors is wrong because of God, and those who thinks that using donors is only a way to have a children and that there will be no impact on their life.
Our feelings, though, are more complex. I don't think that using a donor is a sin against any god, but there are many factors to take into consideration. First of all, the fertility industry and the exploitation of egg donors (not physical exploitation, but the fact that the fertility industry is not sincere), secondly the effect on the conceived children, psychologically. At the end of the day I think it is not worth to try.

Anonymous (visit their site)

Thank you for sharing this. It is the courage of people like you that led me to my choice to only consider an open donation even if that meant I would never have a family. My children are now blessed to have their donor family in their lives since before they were born and we have formed a strong relationship with them and are unquestionably family. I knew in the back of my mind that anonymous donation was wrong but the desperation to have a family might have been enough to quiet that nagging insistence were it not for the bravery of donor conceived people like yourself sharing your story and feelings.

Anonymous (visit their site)

“Thanks To PROPHETESS MASADE. You Are Not Infertile” – I am pregnant. My husband and I endured years of infertility treatments, disappointment and heartache. When doctors gave up on us, I was devastated. I came across testimonies ABOUT PROPHETESS MASADE HELP and felt that the testimony was written because of me. She understands a woman’s primal desire for a child. Her words and result and with confidence in the abilities in the body that God gave me. PROPHETESS MASADE says that i will get pregnant .This came as a great relief as I had tried EVERYTHING, from aggressive fertility treatments & acupuncture to dramatic diet and lifestyle changes which left me feeling lethargic and depressed and constantly reminded me that I was “infertile.” PROPHETESS MASADE tells us that the gods can’t wait to bless us with children if only we will open our hearts to him. I began to recite some of the prayers and WAS ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED TO DISCOVER I WAS PREGNANT WEEKS LATER! Truly, I have not had my monthly cycle since picking up PROPTETESS MASADE spell. contact her on masadeinstanthelp@gmail.com BE BLESSED, IT WILL HAPPEN

Bettina Furler (visit their site)

It is actually the discretion of the donor if they want to make an open or anonymous egg donation, if they wish to be an open egg donor, they have a choice about the level of disclosure they wish to have with the recipients. It would be better if intended parents will always choose open donation so we can lessen, if not eliminate anonymous donation. It would be beneficial to both the parents and donor-conceived children to have the possibility of being in contact with the biological parent especially in terms of asking assistance during the medical emergency.
Thank you for your wonderful view, it will enlighten a lot of people about donor-conceived children.

Anonymous (visit their site)

Hi Lauren, It was wonderful to read your story. I have been considering using an egg donor to have a 2nd child as we have not been successful in being able to have anymore children. Sometimes I feel very greedy for wanting to have more children when I already have a beautiful and healthy child already. But my longing for another child is just so strong and so I have continued to pursue this path. I have always been interested in the donor conceived child. At the end of the day, this is what matters as they are not asking to be born and so we the parents must be responsible. So for this reason I could never choose an anonymous donor and actually I get very cross thinking about all the people who are going overseas and having children through anonymous donors. I don't have all the answers but I am fortunate that my donor will be my cousin and so our child, should we be lucky to have one will know this person from birth and will have a regular contact. I am not saying it will always be easy but parenting is not easy no matter how your family is created and there will always be challenges no matter what. All I know is my husband and I, and my daughter are longing to add to our family and feel we will provide a loving home to any more children we might be blessed to have. I think if people go into it openly and honestly, with the knowledge that their child can find out details about their donor, then this is surely a good start. I do appreciate your honestly Lauren and the points you have made. I am very pleased for you that you were able to meet your donor and can continue a lifelong relationship with this person.

Anonymous (visit their site)

And to add to my previous comment, I am pleased Victoria is leading the way in terms of change to laws however totally agree about the over 18 thing. I have always thought that children should be able to find out from birth....not have to wait until they are 18. And if donors are not happy with this, then they shouldn't donate. Your talking about people's lives!

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Or via Dr,Monday E-mail: ozaspelllordtemple@gmail.com or Call/whatsApp him at +2348110857969.....

Unknown (visit their site)

I am very happy today because i never thought i would be able to leave up till this day.i am Benson Tanaka from Zimbabwe i was infected with h i v by my wife who later died of it and this disease has been with me for the past 6 years now i have gone to several hospitals to seek for cures but all they give to me are some drugs which has taking almost all my savings i had,i was on Facebook on Saturday morning then there was an health group which i was asked to join by a friend immediately after i joined it i saw some post of people giving tanks to this doctor that he has cured them of their hiv disease i was so surprised about this i collected the doctors contact and i thought of it for about 5 good days then i concluded in giving him a try because there was no harm in trying.when i contacted doctor prince he tolled me he was going to prepare an herbal medicine for me which i was going to take for 2 weeks and after that i should go for a test at any of the hospital,after i did every thing which he asked me to do i received the medicine the next two days from a courier company which i started taking immediately after about a week plus i felt some strange moves in me,i felt like i was getting better when i completed the medicine i went for a test at the Bulawayo Central Hospital were i was tested (-)negative i thought i was dreaming i went for another test at the St anne's hospital it was still the same then i believed i was really free from this disease today i have got-in a new job and i am also married to a beautiful wife all tanks to doctor prince here is his contact details for any one who is passing true any kind of sickness or disease he will be willing to help you too. dr.princearataabraham@gmail.com you can also call or whatsapp him on +2348163241499

Anonymous (visit their site)

OH finally i have seen the light, please everybody with herpes virus should pay attention to my testimony. my name is (arabela anwen). am from united kingdom, and am a medical doctor by profession. i want to say a big thanks to dr oluwa for his great help toward me and my family, it happen few years back when i discover that i was living with the deadly disease called herpes virus. i never took it that serious because i thought there was a cure to it medically, little did i know that there where no medical cure for it, so i was praying so that God will direct me to the person that will be able to cure it for me, because i dint really know where the virus came from. it get to a time when i begin to see some pus in my mouth, body, and private part, at that point of time i thought the world has ended and wanted to take my life because the disease was really disgusting. and after another text, the text confirm that it has develop to HSV2, but i never took my life because i know the life belong too God. one faithful day i traveled to one country in Africa, because a friend told me that there is a conference meeting and is about a herbs Dr called (dr oluwa) that discover a herbs cure to herpes disease. and she is also a victim of this disease. well i was not suppose to be saying this because as a medical dr i was not suppose to believe in herb. but i decided to share this testimony so that people will know the right root to follow, because i know that many people are wasting there money with the wrong people calming that they have a cure to this virus, while the right man that can cure this disease is still alive to help as many people that will come over for his help, and his a nice man who mean well for everybody. to end the story after the conference meeting we now have to go for the herbs which contain (liquid and powder form) and took it home, when i get home i started taking it as instructed for God so kind i notice changes and all the pus in my body was dry off, and i went for medical checkup only to discover that i was cured permanently. and all Glory to God that my husband that left me came back begging because he hard about it too, big thanks to GOD that directed me to dr oluwa. i will only drop his email address to those that need this cure and want to give it a try so that they will live a happy life for the rest of there life. droluwaherpescure@gmail.com whatsap number +2348143090463 is that email address, thanks everyone and for those that will contact him will be free just as i am in Jesus name amen.

Peace Lukeman (visit their site)

My name is Peace Dave and i have being married for 15 years without conceiving or get pregnant until the issue resolved to problem in my home, i was really worried and bothered because i don't want to loose my husband to another woman. I have been to hospitals, the doctors told me that i cant get pregnant again, i thought have lost my husband already and i have lost hope and have faith until one day that a very good friend of my introduce me to DR Osas of the great dr osas herbal home, I contacted him through his email drosasherbalhome@gmail.com until when i give DR Osas a try, which make me to be happy today. now i have giving birth to twins a boy and a girl. and my husband now love me more than ever before. so that's while i am here to share the good work of DR Osas, i pray that my God will reward you for all that you have done for me for bringing smile to my face once again. if you are in need of any help contact him via his number WhatSAPP +2349035428122 or via drosasherbalhome@gmail.com you can also email me via my email for more information about Dr Osas peacelukeman@gmail.com

Tina Dellary (visit their site)


am so glad to share my testimony how DR OSUN help me conceive after several years of marriage i found it difficult to conceive and i thought is was over i will never conceive again after 6years of marriage my husband plane for divorce but with the glory of God i found a man who is bless my God with root and herbs who help me get pregnant i want to say a big thanks to him and to the world for the great help he rendered to me for making me a complete woman today now i am 5months pregnant hoping to have My own baby soon. Glory be to God.email DR OSUN and he will help you conceive via:drosunlovespelltemple@gmail.com you can call him +2348132537313

Dr Uyiosa Balogun (visit their site)

I want to let the world know about Dr uyiosa herbal cure is 100% Guarantee percent sure to cure your. HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS ,He is only person that i can boldly say he can cure any types of Disease.i was having HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS for more than 8 year when i meant Dr uyiosa online on how he has cured so many people and how greatly he has helped many individuals online,so i contacted him and explained my situation to him and behold i was cure with his herbal medicine and now am living happily, so to anyone issue on herpes challenges i advised that you contact druyiosabalogun@gmail.com he can also cure any disease such as(1) HIV/AIDS HEPATITIS B,(2)DIABETICS,(3)CANCER,(4)HERPES(5)He can also bring back your ex back,He is the great herbalist man called Dr.uyiosa i must say a big thanks for curing my Herpes Disease, i own you in return. Thanks and be blessed sir.his Mobile number+2349056708611

Dr Uyiosa Balogun (visit their site)

I want to let the world know about Dr uyiosa herbal cure is 100% Guarantee percent sure to cure your. HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS ,He is only person that i can boldly say he can cure any types of Disease.i was having HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS for more than 8 year when i meant Dr uyiosa online on how he has cured so many people and how greatly he has helped many individuals online,so i contacted him and explained my situation to him and behold i was cure with his herbal medicine and now am living happily, so to anyone issue on herpes challenges i advised that you contact druyiosabalogun@gmail.com he can also cure any disease such as(1) HIV/AIDS HEPATITIS B,(2)DIABETICS,(3)CANCER,(4)HERPES(5)He can also bring back your ex back,He is the great herbalist man called Dr.uyiosa i must say a big thanks for curing my Herpes Disease, i own you in return. Thanks and be blessed sir.his Mobile number+2349056708611